The Worst of the Best Podcast

Oh, we gotta press record.
Alright, recording. Are you recording?
Yeah, I'm recording. I'm alright.
Welcome to the worst of the best podcast.
You wanted the best.
Well, they didn't freaking make it!
So here's what you get.
From Canada, Ryan and Ruben.
This is the pilot episode.
First episode.
Alright, recording. Are you recording?
Yeah, I'm recording.
Wow, holy amateurs.
There you go.
Start that again.
Ryan and I are amateurs, but this isn't our first podcast.
That said, one of the rules that we have for this podcast,
which is the worst of the best,
so we're going to pick the worst of the very best things,
is we're just going to run for 20 minutes,
and we're going to be done when we're done.
No editing, nothing.
So we're going to go live.
We're not going to cut all the ums or ahs or ns.
So our time is limited, Ruben.
It is.
Our time is limited.
You're burning daily, Ryan.
Okay.
Okay, well, my name is Ryan.
Nice to meet everybody here.
I'm Ruben.
Nice to meet most of you.
Ruben is my brother.
Ryan's also my brother.
And we're in Ruben Studios.
Thanks, Ryan.
Ryan and I have a podcast that discuss all things Rocky, the movie Rocky, the franchise Rocky.
One night, well, one morning really, I had this dream.
I dreamt that I was listening to Pearl Jam, Vitology album, which is I think their third album.
The song Bugs came on.
I thought, well, this is a terrible song.
Then I had this idea in my dream of having a podcast of picking some of the best things and finding out what's the worst of it.
Okay.
Did I do a good job explaining that?
I don't know.
Because I know what you're talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So basically, we have another podcast called The Rocky Podcast.
And Ruben came up with the idea for another podcast where we take the best.
We don't choose what's best.
No.
The internet or the public or you, the viewer, has already chosen through ticket sales, book sales, basically through sales with the product, what the public buys.
They picked out what is the most successful, the best, and we're doing Pearl Jam today.
Because that was my dream.
In honor of Ruben's dream of the idea, that's right.
We're choosing today's first episode will be on Pearl Jam, but we're using the best for top selling Pearl Jam albums.
Now, of course, with anything that, whether it's food, art, music, that's subjective.
What's not subjective is how many were sold.
That's right.
Like, what's the number one selling ketchup?
Those things aren't subjective.
Our take on what is the absolute worst of the best is.
For disclosure, we haven't revealed what we feel individually is the worst song for each of the top four albums of Pearl Jam.
So I don't know Ruben's picks.
He doesn't know mine.
We may overlap.
I don't know.
We'll find out.
We better.
At least not by technology.
So just so we're clear, the number one top selling Pearl Jam album, which everyone could probably guess, is their first album, 10.
Doesn't mean it's my favorite album of Pearl Jam, but that's the public's most purchased album of Pearl Jam, is their debut album, 10.
And I think that's where we'll start.
Start from the top.
So how many albums did it sell?
13 million.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
I think that's just actually U.S. sales.
I don't think that's worldwide sales.
Yeah.
The numbers that were given, we don't know if they're U.S. sales or what.
I think that's U.S. sales.
13 million.
Usually with music, with a worldwide band, not if they're a Canadian band, like, tragically hip.
But with American sales, if they're worldwide, it's usually double around the world.
Okay.
So if they sold 10 million in the States, they sold probably 10 million around the world.
That's impressive.
It's very, very impressive.
And 13 million for any album, let alone their first, is incredible.
Do you remember the first time hearing Pearl Jam?
First time I heard Pearl Jam would have been 1990.
Is that when their album came out?
91, right?
91.
My apologies.
I know.
I honestly don't remember.
I think the first song I heard from them was Even Flow.
And that was the video with Eddie Vedder jumping on the rafters, hanging from the rafters of the theater.
It starts off with the live performance and then it goes into canned music.
Right.
Because he's like, Josh, turn off the lights.
This is a rock concert.
Was that what?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, really?
And then they go into the song and Eddie's like headbanging.
It's not a TV studio.
Josh, turn these lights out.
It's a f***ing rock concert.
Ready to stand up?
I remember when Pearl Jam came out, I was a hair metal fan of Skid Row, Molly Crew, Aerosmith, Guns N' Roses, Metallica.
Poison.
Def Leppard.
ACDC.
All these rock, hard rock bands.
This was the big burgeoning of the grunge scene, as they called it.
Still, all in all, it's just a great rock record.
I begrudgingly loved it.
And then I became a fan throughout the years.
Ruben, have you ever seen it?
Yeah, I've seen them.
Did you buy the album?
I had it on CD back in the day.
Because I think I remember the first time I listened, it was on CD.
I had a Panasonic Discman.
Right.
And I listened to it.
I went through the album covering, the liner notes and all that.
And I said, wow, he can really sing.
He can.
Eddie Vedder can still sing to this day.
Oh, he's.
He's 52?
52.
He's in his 50s.
And looks great.
Sounds great, too.
And they were just inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
So whatever that really means, I don't know.
Well, it's not nothing.
It's something.
It's something.
I'm not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Not with that attitude.
It's true.
Yeah, have you seen them live?
Yes, once.
Just once.
I saw them.
What tour?
2006.
Well, that's pretty recent, considering a ban from 91.
Yeah, but that's not.
2006, it was.
Maybe it was even earlier, but it was the Riot Act tour.
So maybe 2003, 2004.
Who did you go with?
I went by myself, I think.
You went to a show by yourself?
I think so.
You went to Vancouver by yourself?
It might have been Jason.
Our brother Jason was with us.
I don't recall being with anybody, if that makes sense.
It's weird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what Rune mean for concerts.
In one week, I saw Guns N' Roses, Bruce Springsteen, and Pearl Jam.
Wow.
And then after that, I was like, well, what else?
What does he get excited for?
What did you say?
Pearl Jam?
Guns N' Roses.
Yeah, okay.
Bruce Springsteen, and Pearl Jam.
I think it was all within a week.
Yeah, so Jay and I, our brother Jason,
and myself, we went to Seattle at the Key Arena, saw them in their hometown.
We had side stage.
They had like no stage set up, really.
It was a stage with the speakers.
They had big chords for the speakers, you know, above.
And my line of vision was right on the chord.
Can't ruin the show at all.
Yeah.
It was incredible.
Pearl Jam is an incredible live band.
They're kind of like the modern day Grateful Dead.
They don't sell the albums, but no band does.
They don't quite sell the albums the way they used to, but they tour, they tour, and they tour, and they sell out stadiums, and they put on an amazing show.
I don't think anyone comes from a Pearl Jam concert and goes, oh, that was boring.
They are the quintessential, is the right word?
I would try to correct you, but I don't want to sound more terrible than you.
Okay.
Kudos to Pearl Jam.
I'm still a big fan.
And what's the worst song on 10 for you, Ryan?
All right.
So we're going with the number one selling album of Pearl Jam was their first album.
And I think the same theme actually ends up being for the rest of their album.
I think every album sounds a little bit less than their previous.
But the first one, 10, this was a hard – because remember, the worst song doesn't mean it's a bad song.
No, it's just the worst.
It's just the worst of the best.
This is the problem.
This is their best – the only thing that makes it not flawless for me is time.
I've just heard it so much.
I'm not as excited about it as I used to be.
It's old.
You know, it's for us who have been listening to it for 20-odd years.
We've heard so much of it.
My least favorite or the worst song on 10, Ocean.
Ryan, I agree with you.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's just – that's basically the whole song.
Have to stay the ocean's away.
Winds rolling my thoughts.
Oh, tight the ring.
And our sea will rise.
Please stand by the shore.
I will be, I will be there once more.
That video has over 8 million views.
Why did you think this was the weakest song?
If it was left off the album and it was a bonus track B-side, I don't think I'd add it into the playlist.
Yeah, I feel the same way.
And also, it's the shortest.
Even they knew on some level that we can't dig any more gold out of these notes and this melody.
Well, Eddie Vedder had a big part in this song, writing.
I find it interesting that the one song that he kind of had the most to do with was the least – here's the thing about Eddie Vedder.
This is what I discovered about doing our Pearl Jam research.
And I never really dug in deep into their discography or their written credits.
Eddie Vedder doesn't do a lot of the music.
I know.
He's not the music guy.
He's the lyric guy, which isn't uncommon for bands to have the lead singer not to dabble in the music.
Aerosmith, for example, is a good example of that where they will come up with a guitar riff.
Joe Perry will come up with a guitar riff.
And then they'll present the riff to the singer.
The singer goes, OK, I think I hear some lyrics in my head.
And that's kind of how they do things.
Same with Motley Crue.
Motley Crue, Vince Neil had nothing to do, thankfully.
He had nothing to do with the – I like how he still did solo albums.
He still did solo work.
And I don't know –
Anthony Akitas is also – he's the lyric writer.
He's the lyric writer, but they do all the music first.
And then after he hears the music, then he finds the lyrics, the melody for the music.
So this isn't a slag on Eddie Vedder because he's an incredible lyric writer.
He's definitely –
I actually enjoy his solo albums.
I got to be in the right mood.
I've never listened to the ukulele albums, but he's really big on the uke.
Well –
He's carrying the ukulele torch.
Somebody has to.
Somebody has to.
So Oceans was my pick for the worst song on 10.
Yeah.
That rolling – and Eddie Vedder does –
And it's actually about surfing.
It's about his love for surfing.
And it shows.
It's kind of boring.
The topic's boring.
He surfs.
He's from the beach.
He's from California.
Yeah.
It's kind of weird that he was from California but got a music career in Seattle.
At that time, it would have been the other way around.
True.
True.
If you love surfing, Seattle.
Do you have an honorable mention of a song or a song – or here's the question.
A song you could go the rest of your life without hearing again?
On that album?
Well, I'd go for a release then.
Oh, really?
Release?
I love how that song –
I love it.
I love it.
I know, but I mean I just love how it – I couldn't throw that one away.
I couldn't throw it away.
Okay.
Well, how about you?
Jeremy.
Do you know what?
Okay.
I take that back.
I take that back.
I take that back.
I'm bored – I was bored of Jeremy 15, 18 years ago.
I got bored of Jeremy.
I almost – I had a friend named Jeremy at the time.
He was like, oh, the song's about me.
Oh, yeah.
Of course it's about him.
Yeah.
It's about a kid that blew his brains out in front of the classroom.
Yeah.
Like, why would he want that to be about you, Jeremy?
Who's got my name?
Here's the thing about Jeremy.
It's a great song.
Jeremy for me is kind of what Enter Sandman is to me with Metallica.
Yeah.
If I heard it for the first time –
Sure.
And it was fresh, it's a great song.
You're like, oh, this is a great song.
But Jeremy was so overplayed and so overplayed and so overplayed that in our youth, I got tired of it.
I think by 1993, when Versus came out, which is the next album we'll talk about, when Versus came out, I was already tired of it.
Brian, we got seven minutes left.
We got seven minutes left.
Okay.
Wow.
Here we go.
Versus?
The worst song of Versus, Ruben.
The worst song.
Seven million copies for this one, by the way.
To me, that sounds like Spin Doctors.
So we obviously disagree on this one.
Yeah.
So we agreed on Oceans for the first one, but you picked Glorify G as the worst song ever.
Wow.
Okay.
This is my –
I'm not saying it's a bad song.
Again, we know that.
We know.
I'm surprised.
I dig that song.
I'm not saying I don't dig it.
Here's the least favorite song for me on this album, and it has been since it came out.
What?
What?
Is it because you're sexist?
No, I have a daughter.
Daughter falls into the Jeremy category for me.
And let me just preface this by saying that Versus is my favorite Pearl Jam album.
Yes, it's mine as well.
It's my – their sophomore effort Versus was their best album by far.
In this one, I even had a harder time finding a song that I did like.
I like every single song on this album more than I like on 10.
And to top it off, I had to say to myself, well, what's the one song that if I could never hear it again, I could live without daughter the most?
In fact, the last time I've heard that song in its entirety was when I saw them live.
Really?
I just skip it every time.
Skip, skip, skip.
Another thing I don't like about Glorified G is it's a little preachy.
Okay.
Explain yourself.
Well, I don't have the lyrics in front of me.
I'm most people that get the lyrics.
But it goes like – it's putting down guns.
It is.
It's about gun control.
I never shot a living thing.
Yeah.
Is this a –
All right.
Third album.
Which this album, if it did not have some of the crappy songs on it, it would be my favorite album.
I'm glad you brought that up, Ruben.
Vitology, the third album.
And again, record sales is their top third album, selling album.
This album is incredible.
The songs that work on this album are incredible.
They overshadow their first two releases.
But they have some really – this one is harder to find a worse song because there's a few really bad songs on this album.
So to find the worst song on Vitology was actually a little bit harder.
Okay.
So this is the one that I picked.
And this is barely a song.
It's not a song.
But let me just – for the audience, here we go.
System.
They're stupid.
They're stupid.
They're stupid.
They're stupid.
They're stupid.
These people are so low-fatality.
I'm just a guy.
Really.
I need to be up and have to bug me.
I need to be up and have to bug me.
I need to be up and have to bug me.
I need to be up and have to bug me.
I need to be up and have to bug me.
I need to be up and have to bug me.
I need to be up and have to bug me.
I need to be up and have to bug me.
I need to be up and have to bug me.
I need to be up and have to bug me.
Bug me.
Bug me.
Okay.
Okay.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
All right.
Okay.
That's called –
First of all, I didn't even consider it a song.
It's a track.
Okay.
So it's called Hey, Foxy Mob Handle Mama That's Me.
Now, I agree.
So it's barely a song.
But they took seven and a half minutes – this is why I hate it so much too is because they took seven and a half minutes of disk memory space.
For what?
Well, they could have just – and they already had a couple bad fillers on this album.
Okay.
For what?
I'll tell you my theory is I think Mr. Better was too uncomfortable with fame and praise.
I think he was trying to whittle down fans.
My honorable mention, if you want to go into songs, is Pride 2.
That's when he just spells out privacy, privacy over and over again.
It's a minute and a half long.
Another throwaway track.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Your pick.
If we're going for that as criteria, as a track on the album, I was just going by songs.
Okay.
That's fine.
That's fair.
That's fair.
And those, in my opinion, aren't songs.
Right.
Do they have the chorus?
Do they have a melody?
No.
They're considered songs in that there's musical instruments being played.
Okay.
All right.
And there's credited tracks.
But I know what you're saying.
Yeah.
It's barely a song.
I agree.
Pearl Jam took the time to put this on their album.
Gave it a track number.
And if you throw that disc in, it's going to be randomized on your disc player.
And it's going to come up as a song.
Okay.
All right.
This is what was in my dream.
Okay.
It's the song Bugs.
So I think I've already given that away.
That's great.
Pick, by the way.
I agree with you.
As far as the song, this song is horrible.
I almost picked it.
Go ahead and play love with that.
All right.
Bugs, Vitalogy, they're so bad, it was my dream.
Bugs on my window.
Trying to get in.
They don't go nowhere.
Waiting, waiting.
Bugs on my ceiling.
Crowd at the floor.
Standing, sitting, kneeling.
Yeah, so Bugs.
So Bugs.
All right.
We'll go there.
No Code.
No Code.
One of my favorite albums.
Agreed.
Agreed.
Because of most of the songs.
Agreed.
There was a few songs that, not tracks, but a few songs I could have.
By the way, I got to mention.
93, 94.
Yep.
91, 93.
I think it's 95 or something like that.
And then 96.
Four albums in five years.
Not too shabby.
The worst song on No Code for Me is I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
I'm Open.
So this song here, it's,
like Jim Morrison type.
Eddie Vedder has given us poetry reading.
And then he sings, I'm Open.
So it's just extremely boring.
I'm not saying the lyrics aren't poignant.
I'm not saying that they're not interesting in lyrics.
The song is just kind of boring.
It doesn't go anywhere.
And my honorable mention is the first track sometimes, but it ends well.
So that's why this one is my least, or is the worst song of their album, No Code, is I'm Open.
I pick sometimes.
There you go.
Just the boring.
Just the boring.
Okay, Ryan, it's the end.
I just fast forward to the end.
You can't even notice the difference.
Okay.
Oh, there's right here.
Right about here.
Oh, you're right.
Maybe the whole song.
Yeah, so sometimes it's a terrible song.
I have to say it's a terrible song.
But it's definitely the worst on their fourth best album, No Code.
We got Sometimes and I'm Open.
Do you have an honorable mention?
I do.
My favorite album, outside of their top four best-selling albums, my favorite album of theirs
in the recent years of the 2000s is Riot Act.
I love the album Riot Act.
Yeah, it's a good album.
And the song on Riot Act that is my least favorite, I don't have queued up.
So we'll have to get back to that.
What was it?
Those who want to look, it's track 12.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
For me, it's a live album.
Live on two legs.
Okay.
It came out in 98.
Daughter on there.
Oh, really?
Why Daughter on the live version?
Because they hijacked it with singing other songs at the end of it.
With a pin in her hand Under an old streetlight Or next to a garbage can
Now she's put her kid away She's gonna get ahead
She hates her life And what she's done with it
That's one more kid That'll never go to school
Never get to fall in love Never get to be cold
That's one more kid That'll never go to school
Never get to fall in love Never get to be
Okay.
Got it.
And it's just like, all right, all right.
And I love the other one, too.
My apologies.
The last song on the album, Old or None, Riot Act, worst song, my favorite album of the 2000s.
So you could have gone for none?
To the home But it's all over none
All over none
I could have gone for none. All right. Hey, guys. Thanks for coming out for the best of the worst. First Pearl Jam. In the next episode, we're going to be going over condiments. That's right. Condiments. Ruben, do you ever use them?
I don't use them? You don't use them? Yeah. That was a very weekend. Condiments. We're going to go over the top
for best-selling condiments. We're going to do a blind taste test. Until then... We haven't thought of a sign-off, have we? No, no. Until then, I hope we weren't the worst part of your day.
I'm okay with that. That's all right. No, no. What was the other thing that you thought of? Oh, that's right. Remember, in front of every silver lining, there's a cloud.